Should I Get a Divorce?
By: Adam Blahnik, a Minnesota divorce and family law attorney.
The title to this article is somewhat misleading, because it is one that I, as an attorney, cannot really answer for you. Having grown up in a Catholic family, my father still comments to me (I believe in a facetious manner) about my chosen profession as a divorce attorney and how divorce is more than frowned upon in such faith. Then of course the conversation inevitably leads to how I probably cause acrimony in the relationships of married couples I know for job security (which is, of course facetious).
The actual decision to get a divorce from a spouse is a decision that should be made prior to contacting a divorce attorney. Almost all of my clients who contact me regarding a divorce had made the decision to get a divorce months, if not years prior to actually mustering the courage to call. However, I have had a few clients during their initial divorce consultation tear up excessively when they tell me that they want to divorce their spouse. With these few clients, I could tell in their eyes that they were not ready for the divorce, for whatever their reasons may be - still hoping to mend the differences with the spouse, going to first try marriage counseling, the children will be too adversely impacted, the financial strain will be too great, the person does not know a life other than the life with that spouse, etc. Many of these are very legitimate reasons for delaying divorce, or to not get a divorce altogether.
The question of whether parents should stay together in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children has been, and continues to be a topic of much debate. If the parents argue daily in the presence of the children and expose the children to a hostile living environment, then more harm may result to the children than good by remaining together. This could be the case on both an immediate level - by subjecting the children to a tumultuous environment, and on a long-term level - by teaching the children negative life lessons that will resonate with them as adults. However, if the parents do not argue, but have simply fallen out of love and are living two separate lives under the same roof while both looking out for what is best for the children, then is there harm to the children by staying married? In this situation, the parents must make an independent decision about their own happiness.
Whether someone should or should not get a divorce is a huge, and life changing decision to make. It is a decision that should not be made hastily and should be a decision made by that person alone - without the influence of peers, friends and other family. Friends and family can oftentimes provide good objective insight into the relationship from the outside looking in. However, every relationship is different and each person should know what is best for him or her.
If you have not made the decision to actually get a divorce, but you would like to know what your legal rights would otherwise be in the case of a divorce (especially if you believe your spouse is contemplating a divorce), contact our law firm for a free divorce consultation. By calling and speaking with an attorney, you do not need to actually follow through with the divorce. You would simply be learning your legal rights that would potentially result from the divorce proceedings.